I look at my kiddos now, well now they are actually in their room ignoring me... but in general I look at them and can't believe how big they've gotten. Henry is 7 and Tannie is 3. Just yesterday it felt as though I was bringing Henry home from the hospital, terrified of how to even change his diaper. Now I look at him and wonder how I can possibly protect him from the world. I know I can't but I hope he always knows that through all the trials he will go through, his mom and dad will be there.
I grew up with strong parents. They gave us a foundation to be the people we are today. Without them, I wouldn't know how to be a mom. And then I found my husband, Paul, who grew up with the same values and heart for family.
6 years ago, on Feb. 5th, my dad passed from this life to the next. Most days, I live in hope that I will see him again and then there are days that I look at my children and long for him to be here. I do believe he sees us and guides us in our life but he isn't HERE.
6 years
6 years of birthdays, weddings, deaths of grandparents, buying of homes, laughter around the table, Christmas eve and morning- so many things he has missed.
And yet my love for my daddy goes stronger every time I see my kids and how much they are like him in many ways. Henry is sensitive. If you knew my dad, he could cry at the drop of a hat. Tannie is kind and funny, so was my dad.
It amazes me how as time passes we grow to adjust to the ones that are no longer in our lives but it really never gets easier, just more manageable.
Faith has gotten me through the past 6 years. A faith so strong that it has pulled me out of the deepest pits in my life and brought me closer to my family and made me a better mom. Faith that is strong enough to know I will see him again and that he is sitting in the present of God waiting for the day we will be together.
Time flies.
Treasure the crazy of the days and the shortness of the years. Because before you know it, your kids will lock you out of your room and want "alone" time.
I await the day I will meet my daddy again. But dad, you're gonna have to wait awhile, I've got these kids that need me. We have a life that is incredibly beautiful. And daddy, I thank you for that. Always believing in me and giving me the best chance in this world.
Camila Cabello sings it beautifully "You were the first man that loved me"
Love you most, dad.
