Though the Days Are Long

I have been in school for the past two weeks. The days have been incredibly long and exhausting. I started to envy the people in my classes that were staying in hotels and not having to go home to responsibilities all while having to do homework and get to bed at a decent time to be back in class by 730am. Oh and write a sermon in the midst of that.

Doesn't a week in a hotel BY YOURSELF sound amazing? 

Oh the silence

Oh the sleep without arms and legs flopping all over me; on a typical night at least one child ends up in our bed

Oh and getting JUST myself ready in the morning. No screaming to find your shoes, to get dressed or yelling at your two year old that cheetos are not an accetable breakfast, to finally give in and compromise on club crackers...

Then I got home today.

It had been a long two weeks.

I took a nap and woke up feeling refreshed.

Tannie woke up next and I could tell it was cloudy outside so we went out to see how it felt. I ended up sitting with her and giggling for a good 10 minutes. 

Then it started to sprinkle and I called Henry to come out and the three of us danced in the rain trying to catch rain on our tongues.

This is one of those moments in time you want to freeze.

It helps your to forget about the whining, the screaming, the fighting and all of the hard parts of being a parent. 

They say the days are long but the years are short- I have found this to be especially true these last few weeks. I have felt disengaged from my children and husband and focused on what I need to do for school and work. And while I feel as though I have grown spiritually and am able to take practical things back to the church, there is still a balance needed.

Today though reminded me that life isn't always this chaotic. That is slows down. That you are able to be present and to find moments that make it all feel okay.

Our lives are rushed from one thing to the next and it is important for us to slow down, breathe and remember that in order to live a life of abundance- the life that God wants for us- we have to find balance, find rest and find peace. 

Even if your kid is currently screaming at your to get off your computer and find him a snack :-)

God Bless you all

-Pastor Ali

But I don't want to go to school

My alarm went off early this morning. 6:15am. That may not seem early for some but for me that is an awful time, it is literally in the middle of the night in my opinion.

When my alarm went off, I turned it off, rolled over and kept sleeping. Paul shook me and told me to get up. I said, of course in the sweetest voice you can imagine, "I KNOW what time it is". So I got up and got ready. Then I went into the bathroom and told Paul "but I don't want to go to school" and we laughed.

I am in school this week for ministry. Turns out you have to learn things in order to be a Pastor. I have enjoyed it, I have learned a lot of tools and ways to improve my preaching and theology YET it has been a long week. I am exhausted, I am burnt out and I am ready to go home today.

I have also learned a lot about myself this week.

I have learned that my call to ministry is solidified- I have known that for awhile but it is always good to have that affirmed on a regular basis.

I have learned that I am a good student. Turns out that my grades in college do not reflect my ability and going to school again has allowed me to trust more in myself, to really believe that I am enough and to really believe that I am capable of doing this.

Henry has been in preschool two days a week and toward the end of the year he started saying "My cheek hurts, I can't go to school" or a good one was "mom, I have a booger I can't get out and need to stay home". He starts kindergarten this year and it will be interesting to see how many times his excuses come up.

Where does that come from? The need to make excuses to not do the things we have to do. Often when we get there we love it, we get a lot out of it and we strive to do our best.

School, education and growing in not just our knowledge but our faith is key to living a life of abundance.

As Christians we need to keep asking questions, to keep learning and to keep growing in our faith. If we choose to stay stagnant in what we know and believe we won't grow and that is hard to see happen to people or in your own life.

School is tedious, the work is hard but the time in class has proven to be valuable for me.

When I look at this in the context of the church, I encourage people to grow in their faith. To take a class you have always thought about but just keep putting off. We can make excuses and most of them are valid but I guarantee you, if you sign up for that Bible Study, if you join that Sunday School class it can transform your life to really understand what God is calling us to do- to go out into the world and make Disciples for Christ for the transformation of the world.

I am eager for Henry to start school. I know he is going to love it and I also know he will begin making every excuse to not go but he will be amazing, he will grow and he will become more of the person he is meant to be.

God bless you all, know you are enough, know you are worthy of the life you are living and know that you are loved,

Pastor Ali
   

                                   

Things you do not learn in Pastor school...

The weeks leading up to today have felt like a whirlwind. I have watched our Senior Pastor for the past few years run around like she has fire lit under her.

I always kind of thought- well maybe she just does too much. Maybe she doesn't take time for herself...all of these excuses because I won't run around like that.

Nanette- I apologize for ever thinking that. You are amazing and while you do need to slow down a bit at time, I think I am starting to get it and it's only week two.

For my new congregants reading this, this has absolutely nothing to do with you and all about me.

I am adjusting to working full time again- I had been rocking this 20 hour a week gig for awhile and phew here we go!

I am figuring out that a full time job takes my time and energy but I am also learning how much I LOVE this and can't wait to really get into this work.

Until today and in the next two weeks, I am not sure I will know much of what is going on and here is why

-Had to say goodbye to a beloved member of our family, our dog, McGehee
- First sermon and service on July 1st- while planning for the next Sunday because I was going out of town
-Immediately left for Chicago with my family later on the 1st
-Navigated an amazing city with an amazing city and celebrated our daughters 2nd birthday
-Came home last night
-Went into the office today and wrote my sermon
-Tomorrow we will clean the house, I will sermon prep more, I will take my son to a birthday party, I will then do more sermon prep and try to go to bed early
-Sunday (it really does come every week) service and preach. Mother in law comes that afternoon (yay!!) and we have Tannie's family bday dinner that night
-Monday-Friday I have class from 730am-530pm
-Ad Board meeting Tuesday night at 6pm
-Saturday birthday party
-Sunday (it really does come every week) preach and service
-Monday-Friday classes from 730am-1230pm

AND THEN.... Sunday comes again and I breathe (after church)

It is an interesting start to this appointment and I find myself wanting to be in 5 places at once.

I am dedicated to Indian Heights.

I want to get to know the people, I want to be in the office, I want to get to know my co-workers but life is calling me in all different directions.

I am not sure when I took this appointment if I realized how crazy the first few weeks would be but I can promise you all this- I am still here. I am present. I am aware and I am your Pastor.

The biggest thing I can say that they do not teach you in Pastor school is how much there is to learn at a new appointment and how you will want to learn everything right away so you can be the best Pastor you can be...BUT you have to take it one day at a time.

One class at a time

One sermon at a time

One Ad Board meeting at a time

All while trying to be present with your family.

I truly believe that if I didn't believe in this whole "presence" thing and taking things one day at a time I would be panicking right now but here's the thing...

I've got God on my side.

I've got God telling me to breathe.

I've got God holding me and guiding me through all of this.

I've got an amazing support system.

I've got amazing congregants at Indian Heights.

I can't wait to go on this journey with each of them and I can't wait to just breathe (that happens, right, Nanette?)

God bless you all. You are loved, you are enough and you are all worthy

-Rev. Ali