October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

• Every 9 seconds in the United States, a woman is assaulted or beaten
• 1 in 3 women will be a victim of abuse in her life
• One a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nation wide
• 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year and 90% of those children witness the abuse
• 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; and 94% of the victims of these murder-suicides are female

I grew up in a loving home. My parents were kind and respectful to each other. I did not witness violence in my life or in the life's of those around me. 

I WAS LUCKY. 

I was not one of those 1 in 15 children that grew up in violence. I am not one of the 1 in 3 women that has been assaulted by her partner. I am not one of the 20,000 phone calls placed to a shelter. I am not one of the women killed by her intimate partner. 

I AM LUCKY

My luck is not that I am not one of those people. My luck is that I have the honor and blessing to work with those women and children every single day. To give someone hope, to give someone a shoulder to cry on, to offer grace, mercy and love to a person. 

Violence against women is an epidemic. From the beginning of time, women have been oppressed, beaten and pushed down by their partners. Women have been seen as "lesser than" and "not worthy". The systematic oppression against women is real. I witness it every single day. I watch a woman go to court in hopes that the man that beat her and raped her will go to jail. Only to see him get off with a warning and probation. I see that woman then go into hiding because the threat against her for standing up for herself, for calling the police and for seeking help is going to increase by 70%. I see her fear for her life and the life of her children when she goes to work, takes her children to school and fights for her rights. I see her go back. I see her go back because the justice system did not work for her b/c for her it is better to go home, endure the violence and pain, than to be one of the women that is killed every single day because she left. 

How can we as a society allow this to happen? How can we put judgment on her? How can we sit there and say "Why doesn't she leave?" When we do NOTHING to help her once she does. Our justice system rarely holds abusive partners accountable, the amount of support and shelter available is incredibly slim and when a woman does actually leave her risk of being killed goes up 70%. 

As human beings it is our job to care for each other. As a Feminist Christian, I believe that our job as women is help other women. I believe that we have to stand up for what is right and make a change. That change can be small. Simply helping one person can change the course of not only her life but the life's of her children; which will eventually change the course of all the children that come after her. 

So why do we sit there in judgment? Why do we look the other way when we see someone crying out for help? 

FEAR. Fear drives all of us. We turn the other way because we don't have to be vulnerable. We don't want to "get in the way". We don't want to help b/c then our little bubble that we keep ourselves wrapped in to shut out all the pain of the world may be popped. We may learn that violence is real, we may see it in our face, we may have to hear to story of how she was raped, beaten and called horrific names than expected to care for her children, go to work and be a "good wife". 

And this is SCARY. It is incredibly scary. But fear can drive us to hope. If we move past our fear and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to helping another human, we may just see a bit of hope for the world in the end. We may see the victim of violence become a survivor. We may just see the children of this woman grow up to be OK. We may just see the love, grace and mercy that is working in us through the Holy Spirit and we may be forever changed.

And THAT is why I do this work. I don't do it for myself. I do it for those that are in need, I do it because it is my calling. It is the calling of EVERYONE. Not just Christians, but all humans. We are to help those that are suffering, to offer them hope and to show them love and that they ARE WORTHY OF LIFE.

Matthew 25:35-40 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Dance on sweet cousin, Happy Birthday.

October 7th, 2015. Today would have been Skyler's 27th birthday.

I woke up this morning very early and as I got ready in the stillness of my house I began thinking of Skyler. What a beautiful soul he had and what a tragedy it was for him to be taken from this earth far too soon. As I walked outside into the darkness I was reminded of the light that was Skyler.

Skyler Hayes Price was born on October 7th, 1988. I could lie and say I remember everything about the day he was born but I was 3. I do remember my own brother being born later in July but that is probably my earliest memory.

Our mothers, Becky and Vicky, are sisters. They are extremely close and have 5 children between the both of them. We were not raised as cousins, we were raised as siblings. Skyler's sister, Brittany, was my first best friend and still is to this day. My brother, Evan and Skyler were extremely close as well and well Paige was the older sister to all of us. We spent summers, Christmas, spring break and so many other times together. I could go on and on about the many memories I have of us all but that would take way too much space.

Skyler lived a very full 19 years. He was happy, funny, smart, courageous and had the kindest soul I had ever known. Unfortunately on Dec. 8th, 2007 Skyler died. It forever changed our family. Christmas still to this day is sad and family gatherings feel smaller even as our family grows.

One reassurance I had when my dad died was that Skyler was there to greet him at the gates of Heaven and to say "welcome, I missed you".

I believe in Kingdom of Heaven. I believe that there is more to this life than this. I believe that we will see our loved ones again and I believe that God is not only with them but is with us every single day. Giving us the tools to know God and find our way to the kingdom. I believe that everyone is deserving of this. No matter what choices you make in life there is still hope. Even in the end.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

The eternal is what living our lives is in preparation for. And I know that my dad and Skyler and celebrating his birthday together today in the eternal kingdom of Heaven and that brings me joy and light out of the darkness of the day.

Dance on sweet cousin, One love.

"There will be one child born in this world to carry on, to carry on"

I am an Aunt again! Wyatt Joseph Haynes was born on September 29th to the proud parents of Joe and Kristin and brother Will! He is absolutely beautiful and an incredible reminder that life does go on, that good things happen and out of pain and grief comes light and life. 

Isn't he precious!

Kristin ended up being induced so we knew when Wyatt's birthday would be. I asked Henry if he ever wanted a brother and sister and he very adamantly stated "No! There is only one Henry Paul Haynes". And yes indeed there is only one Henry. 

Children bring hope into our lives. They are precious, innocent and blind to the pain and hardships of the world. As adults, we unfortunately expose them to these things. Whether we mean to or not. We can try and protect our children as much as we can but it is inevitable that someday they too will feel the pain of this world. Our job is to give them the tools and strength to get through it and to teach their children that there is hope, light and love in this chaotic world.

When my dad was really sick and at home he wanted to listen to his favorite music all day. "And When I Die" by Blood Sweat and Tears was on that play list and every time it played I thought of my sister and the new baby she was carrying. My dad had asked doctors over and over again if they could just get him to June so he could meet this new baby. Unfortunately he passed away too soon. My sister will tell you that driving to his funeral the name, Benjamin Craig, came to them. I like to think my dad told them to name him that. 

And when I die and when I am dead, dead and gone
There'll be one child born in this world 
To carry on, to carry on

Ben was that baby. Ben brought joy and life to our family  that we so desperately needed. He is the constant reminder that even when things really suck and are hard, new life comes into this world to remind us that life is beautiful and people are born to carry on the legacy of the ones that go before us. 
I am lucky that my son, Henry, got to know his Nana. I don't know if he really remembers  him but I do know that at night he will be in bed talking and when I say "who are you talking to" he says "Nana. He came to say hi". I believe that my dad is there. That he loves his grandsons so much he would never want to miss out on their life's. The legacy of my father will be carried on by our children b/c as their mothers, Paige and I, will do everything we can to make sure they know who their Nana was and how much he loved them. 

I am rambling a bit but there is a point to all that I am saying. The birth of my new nephew helps to remind me that in a world with so much pain, anger, violence and sadness there is hope. A new life reminds us that we have the opportunity to make a difference in the world. To raise children to become people of faith; that are kind, generous, loving and offer grace and mercy to others. We have the chance to change the world not only by ourselves but through our children. 

And when I die and when I am dead, dead and gone
There'll be one child born in this world 
To carry on, to carry on