Dear Sky

I have often wondered what I would say to you if I wrote you a letter. Where would I start? What would I say? How much do you already know and what don't you know? So here is my best attempt.


Dear Sky-

It's been 10 years. 10 years since I saw you. Well over 10. The last time I saw you was Thanksgiving 2007. You got to meet Paul. We have been married for 8 years. We have two children. Henry is just like you and Evan, believes he is a ninja and a power ranger. Tannie is 1. She is just like me. Vivacious, independent and runs the house. But you probably know all of that. You probably know that they are healthy, beautiful and full of life.

You probably know all of this because you are right here with us. You are in the midst of us everyday. I can see you dancing in the fields from time to time or when my son is running around like a crazy person, convinced that he is going to kill all the bad guys. I can see you in your parents. In their tears, their laughs and their lives. I can see you in our family. You never really left us, just went away for awhile. At least that is how I am able to see you.

How is my dad? I'd imagine he is good. That you two spend a lot of time together, laughing at all of us and our nonsense. What about all of this planning for Christmas? Is my dad telling you it is ridiculous? Are you laughing? Are you like your dad? Telling my dad that we all just need to listen to Becky and Vicky because they will tell us what to do? :-)  Is he giving you guidance and love? I can't imagine that he wouldn't. He really loves you. Just like your own daddy. Sometimes I am envious that you get him for eternity but I guess I know that I will be there someday with you all.

Do you talk to Nana? How is he really doing? I wish we could get some real answers. I wish that we really knew what was going on. I think we all know but don't want to admit it. I worry for him, but I also just wish him peace and stillness. What a reunion that will be someday, you were always his favorite, that was obvious to us all.

Nani is sad. She is struggling. Can you come to her? Tell her it's all going to be ok? Tell her that you love her and are taking care of her and Nana? Maybe that will give her some peace. She needs that. She doesn't know what to do or how to help. She is always saying "well we're just old". You know Nani, she has never been down about life. Talk to her. Hold her and let her know life is okay.

Evan got married. I wonder if you sent him Carly. You probably did. I can imagine you had something to do with that. She saved him, ya know. Made him an amazing man, something to strive for. He is a good person, a loving husband, great uncle, great son, great brother. I hope that was you and my dad, helping to form him into this person, never leaving his side.

It's been 10 years. I miss you. Your parents miss you. Your sister misses you. We all miss you. It's strange how one event can change the course of people's lives forever. Your death changed so much for all of us.

I have had my ups and downs since we lost you and my dad but I am able to say today that I know you guys are right here with me. That you are with God. That you are happy. That you are full. That you are loved. That you are never alone and you never leave us. I know you are simply a veil away. That heaven is simply right on the other side of this crazy world we live in.

I miss you dear cousin, I hope you find peace this Christmas. Find joy, hope and happiness. Tell my dad hi. Tell my grandparents hi.

God Bless your sweet soul and the love you have always given all of us

Ali

Oh and this whole Trump is President thing- ya, if you could help that to change in 2020 that would be great. Thanks- love the whole world.