No, Not MY Daughter!

In public and at school we all have the "perfect" children. We strive to make sure they have the perfect clothes, the perfect lunch and that we are the perfect parents. When our children throw a fit in the middle of Target we give them our phone or just buy the toy they want to avoid the looks from others. When our child is acting like a child during an important moment, we threaten to take away their new favorite toy or ELSE.

When in reality none of us have the perfect children. None of us have it all together and we do all these things for what?

We do them for ourselves because we live in a world where we are terrified of what people think about us, that people will judge us and that we will never be good enough.

Well, as my dear friend Tiffany Baker has often put it, the jig is up and when we all just accept that we are all human and we are all imperfect, the world would become a lot more perfect.

Yet, not everyone has had the luck of being in a mom's group with Tiffany leading that is so incredibly important it allows you to actually let go of these things and just go with the phrase "the kids are alright".

My kids do not have the perfect clothes. Most days, Henry wears pants that have holes in them. I can't keep up with how rough he is on his clothes, so if they rip he wears them. I don't fix them- no one actually has time for that.

Their lunches consist of whatever I can find to throw in their lunch box and when Tannie now has a tantrum in the middle of Target I just stare at her and say things like "wow, who's kid is that?" Or you know, I just give her my phone.

This week, Tannie had two not so awesome reports. Now, let's be honest, she is 2 and in kids day out. Having a bad report in kids day out will not set her up for failure and she will still likely get into a good college but there is still something about the look on the teachers face and the words "Do you have a second?" You suddenly become a little child and feel as though you are in serious trouble. "Sure", I said.

Well, it turns out for the past two days Tannie has hit and pushed her classmates and had to sit out a total of 5 times. My first reaction was honest.. "Oh ok. Well, hmm..." I didn't know what to say. My daughter? That adorable one that is currently screaming me for more peanut butter as I write this hit others? Of course not...

I had been waiting for this statement for the whole school year. Let's be real. Tannie is Tannie. She is smart, she is spunky and she doesn't let anyone stand in her way. Her teacher expressed that it is often when others are in her space or looking at her and she wants to be left alone.

The mama in me gave myself a high five. At 2 years old, my daughter knows her boundaries and how to tell people to leave her alone. But, I guess doing that by hitting that isn't okay in kids day out....


Our kids are not perfect but they are perfectly imperfect and when we let go of the "perfection" we all buy into as parents and just embrace the reality that 2 year olds hit, 6 year olds rip their pants and that life is just messy, we teach our kids a lot more value and worth than we know. We really teach them about being themselves, we teach them that their voice matters and we teach them that material things are not what life is about.

Don't get me wrong. My kids get the phone and there are times they get the "talk" before we go places but as I learn more about being a mom and myself, I am realizing that their imperfections are the perfect things about them.

Always know you are enough, you are worthy and you are beloved.

Pastor Ali