Grace

One of the many things I continue to work on every day is my ability to offer grace. It seems easy enough, right? The ability to offer grace to someone that has done wrong is very complex and much harder than you may think. I find myself turning to God for answers and for the ability to acknowledge that we hardly get things right on the first try and everyone deserves grace, forgiveness and a second chance.

In my work at a local domestic violence shelter I am confronted with situations on a day to day basis that are incredibly difficult and I am tasked with making decisions that could change the course of a persons life. I literally have the power to make someone homeless, to make them feel worthless b/c of a decision they made, to make them feel like nothing. I take that power very seriously and try to diminish it as much as possible. What right do I have to this power? What right does anyone have to tell another person how to live? how to act? how to raise their children? The list goes on. I am constantly telling myself "offer grace and understanding". When I get to work and hear what I need to address I make myself take deep breaths and try to understand where the person is at. Trauma survivors, well really everyone, needs to feel worthy of life, to make connections with others and to be offered grace on a daily basis. I never want someone to leave my office feeling smaller than they are, like I abused the power I have or that they are not worthy to live there. Instead, I want someone to come in, talk with me about what is going on and to leave feeling supported, validated and worthy. This is grace to me.

Offering grace to those that have been victims of violence comes a lot more natural to me than offering grace to those that victimize. How can I offer grace and understanding to a person that has strangled, beaten, raped and diminished a persons self-worth so much that they do not believe they have the right to live? How can I offer grace and love to someone that has shot another person? That has hurt a child?

Recently in church, we sung a hymn that had the phrase "love the abused and the abuser" as I began to sang this line I couldn't say "abuser". I struggled with that all day long. How could I not sing those words? Am I so incredibly jaded by the work that I do that I can not offer love, mercy and grace to those that abuse? The answer is yes, at times I feel this is impossible. I do not see how someone that has hurt another person has the right to be loved. How horrible is that? We ALL deserve love and grace. I know this. Of course I know this, I want to be a Pastor!

The truth is no matter how close you are to God you struggle everyday with living and loving like God and this is my current struggle; Offering grace.

Romans 12: 14-19 "Bless those who persecute you; bless and not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written "It is mine to avenge; I will repay" says the Lord.

Bless those who persecute you. Forgive, bless and forgive them. We are taught from the beginning of the Bible that we are made in the image of God. We then make choices, we are raised certain ways and we decide what path to take in life. God gave us freewill but with that comes the ability to also decide if we are going to offer grace and love to those that use that freewill for evil. It is ultimately our choice to make and not an easy one. It takes work every single day to know and understand what grace truly means.

From the beginning of our lives we are given prevenient grace. This is grace given to us without accepting God into our lives, it is simply there b/c we are all children of God.

From there we learn what justified grace means. When we accept Christ into our lives we learn that when we sin we are forgiven. But it doesn't stop there. To fully understand what grace means is to be sanctified in grace. This is when we have changed, transformed and become more aware of our Christian vocation and we become sanctified. We are living and loving like God.

I like to think that I fully understand what sanctifying grace is. That I live and love like God everyday and every minute of my life. But that wouldn't be true. I struggle everyday with how to like and love like God. I am challenged at work and my personal life with people where I question their worthiness. And that is OK. I know it is b/c I know what it is like to receive the grace, mercy and love of God.

I do know that everyone deserves grace and it is an on-going challenge of mine to offer it to all of God's children. I believe through my work at my church and the closer I get to God I will someday fully be able to offer this.

Until then, I pray. I pray for strength to be kind, to show compassion and hopefully offer grace.

Romans 3:22-24

"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus"