Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear husband, happy birthday to you!
Yesterday was Paul's 31st birthday. As I sit here writing this I am watching our almost 3 year old son run around the yard, chasing his dogs without a care in the world. Oh what it would be to be a child again and not know yet the pain, struggle and heartache that comes with being an adult.
Paul and I met at a bar in September 2007. Yes, a bar. If you ask my Nani we met at Rose Brooks Center when I was working a late night shift in shelter and Paul brought a woman to live there. As my Nani says "never let a good story get in way of the truth". But no, we met in a bar. Johnny's in Olathe to be exact. From our first date I knew he would be my boyfriend and I quite possibly may want to spend my life with him.
I think in order to build a solid relationship you must endure hard times together. I would never wish struggle on anyone but to work through pain as a couple and to come out stronger creates a really good foundation for your marriage.
In December 2007 my cousin Skyler passed away. He was 19. He was a freshmen at KU. He was smart. He was funny. He was kind. He left this world far too early. The night Skylar died I called Paul and asked him to come straight over after work. We had been together for 2ish months. He came over without changing his uniform and held me while I cried. The next few days were a whirlwind and I don't remember a lot from them. It was months after the funeral that my sister told me what Paul did for her. As the service ended I saw an old friend and ran to her for comfort. My sister was left there next to Paul and began sobbing. Paul picked her head up, put her on his shoulder and let her cry while he held her. When my sister told me this I knew I loved Paul and wanted to spend my life with him.
It is often in our biggest struggles that we find hope. In that moment I had hope for my future and family. That we would not always be sad, that one day we would celebrate love, babies and togetherness.
We were married on Sept. 5th, 2009. It was an amazing day with a harvest moon. We made vows to each other that day before God, our family and friends to always love, honor and cherish each other through good times and bad. I took those vows that day and every day very seriously. They are sacred. Marriage is sacred and something that I feel honored to have found.
Our son, Henry, was born in November 2012. It was then again that through my relationship there was hope. Hope for Henry, for his future and for our family.
A year and a half later my dad died. Again, Paul was my rock. Over the past year and a half he has handled my grief, anxiety and fears with such grace. He understands the value of simply sitting with me in my pain and how to support me in my darkest moments.
When I decided to go into ministry I was a little scared to tell Paul. I had no idea what he would think. We were both raised in church, had religious families and had gone to church together but I had never once indicated to him that this is what I wanted. When I told him he simply smiled and said "Okay, what next" He has stood by me through every step of this journey and for that I am forever grateful.
I believe God puts us in situations in our lives and then we have choices to make. That is where freewill comes in. I could have chosen that night at Johnny's to not say hi but I am so thankful that I did. I am so thankful that I married him, that we created Henry together and that we choose to be married to one another every single day. We have hard days but we mostly have really good days. Paul is my rock, my best friend, my partner, my husband and the only person in this world I could imagine going through this chaotic, joyous and surprising life with.
I pray everyday that Paul and I are given one more together, that we are able to grow old, to celebrate birthdays, weddings and family together. I pray that even in our darkest times we come through it stronger and I know that this is all possible together and with God by our side.
Happy birthday my dear Paul. I love you.
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